The confession

Self Denial. One of the most common human trait. Even I, have occasionally succumbed to this feeling, this thought, this assurance. But why? Why is it all too common? Why do people go into self denial? Is it dangerous? Is it really needed? The past few days have seen me delve into such thoughts.. I am all too curious, wondering why..

Humans, me for one, use several devices to shield ourselves from the horrors of the world. Not necessarily literal horror (think direct combat etc), but fights to do with the emotional heart. As much as we try to stay strong, we are only human.... Thus, we come up with creative ways to shield ourselves from getting hurt, or worse, from hurting others.

Self Denial provides us with a shield to drive us away from stress, from not being able to deal with the issues. Not that it is used for those who are cowards, some issues are just too big for one to handle, too sensitive for one's heart. It is understandable, at times. But when does it go too far? When does Self Denial pose as a double edged sword, hurting those we wish to protect?

Humans are always torn, between loving themselves, and loving others. It is a delicate balance, hard to acquire. There is always a blurred line between, loving yourself, and also loving others because they love you. Or hurting others, for their own sake, or for your own sake.

But by taking love into the picture, further complicate matters. It is never clear, nor easy. It creeps up in the most mysterious ways. It often catches you off-guard, ESPECIALLY when you are most sure of yourself, sure that you are indeed, not in love. But who are we to question matters of the heart? Which is why, we have thoughts to help guide the heart. But this again, is NEVER easy.

Hence, Self Denial.

A way to overcome this, sometimes takes nothing, although sometimes it takes everything. Sacrifices, heart-ache... you name it. But seeing the bigger picture might help. A heart-ache now, may save an even bigger heart-ache in the future. A slight pinch, is never comparable to a full blow.

But it all must come from within. If we ourselves CAN'T see it, then there's no use for intervention. 'Defensive', they say.. comes with Self Denial. It often walks hand in hand. Intervention will normally make things worst.

Therefore, I shall trust..
I shall stay outside..
It is not for me to decide, nor to ponder..
I know, things will work out for the better.
All I can do is hope, hope that speed will be a factor.. As time is definitely a factor, it can either heal, or hurt much much more..

But I'll always be here...