#yaasinfordatuk

A week ago today, I called my dad asking about my sister's UPSR exam results. Alhamdulillah they were ok. Well done sis! I also asked about my grandfather. 

He said Datuk was fine.

So you can understand my shock... when I receive a call from my brother the day after, saying that my grandfather passed away. 

I broke down.

I went to bed the night before feeling grateful for his improving health and the possibility of taking the kids down there for a visit later this year. 

I was too late....

So immediately, without thinking much.. I gathered my things, told the boss, and left the office. On my way down called my sister-in-law asking her help to book two tickets back to Tawau. Yes, only 2. Husband had a trial the next day, which we all know he could not miss. Working with the court is different than an organization. A lot of people depend on you. The court's time, that of your opposing counsel, witnesses (if any) are all very valuable and most times, scheduled far in advance. So to simply NOT be present is... not acceptable. So we agreed to split the kids for one night. Since the younger one is still fully breastfeeding, I decided to take her along. Plus, I have not been away from her for an entire night since she was born.. that could come as a shock to her and I wouldn't want to burden anyone else. She'd sleep soundly with me by her side anyways. 

She could be my rock.

And indeed she was (is). 

The drive home was the longest 15 minutes of my life. I cried the entire time. Went back to pack, and picked her up to headed to the airport. When I saw her, I immediately stopped crying. 

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When my grandmother (who I presume has not stopped crying since my grandfather's passing) knew that her cicit has arrived.. she immediately stopped crying.

Everyone stopped crying and fussed over little Elina.

She became everyone's rock.

From the corner of my eyes I saw my dad smiling. I was glad I brought her along. Her sweet smile just brought cheer to everyone there. We all came together to do the necessary. Recited the y'aasin. Began dividing portions of the Quran for each family member, so we would be able to khatam the Quran by the end of the 7th day. MasyaAllah how beautiful it was to see everyone coming together to undertake such task. The only other time I cried was on the plane ride home. Having alone time (whilst Elina was sleeping) wasn't really what I needed then. I wished he was there with me. 

By the time I arrived in KLIA2, I was exhausted. Lucky for us girls, we were greeted by ze husband.. who took us for dinner (at the airport) before going home. Yeah, we did like browsing through the stores at the airport. It's so huge, you won't feel like you're in an airport.. except for the constant flight announcements buzzing through the speakers.. 

I guess when I went to visit him at the hospital I already knew that his time was almost up... I just didn't want to believe it then...

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إِنَّا لِلّهِ وَإِنَّـا إِلَيْهِرَاجِعونَ

"Surely we belong to Allah and to Him shall we return"

Mini weekend getaway

So over the weekend we spent the night at oneworld hotel, damansara.  Husband is a member so once a year we'll get a free stay! 

Yeah, I know I know.. It's unusual for people to have mini getaways in the city right? Imagine beaches, serenity, outdoors.. 

Haha, not us. 

We're self-proclaimed city people. We love the ease of just having a store downstairs for quick dinners so that we can spend most of the time..

IN THE HOTEL ROOM OF COURSE! 

Whyyyy would you pay a hefty price for the room if you're just going to spend most times outdoors and not actually ENJOY the room innit? Ok fine, that's debatable. But we loveee lazing around, enjoying the lush mattresses and pillows, bathtubbb.. swimming pool! 

( The 10 seconds that she was calm in the water before screaminggggggg! )

Aaron loves staying in hotels for these reasons especially! He doesn't mind not going out, if he can guling2 atas katil tuh.. Like mother like son! 

I was happy when he suggested that I go for the massage (also included in the coupon, but only entitled for a capped rate of RM110 for ANY MASSAGE)! Wehhoooo.. Offered to watch the kids (read=subject to the baby sleeping) whilst I have my one hour 'me' time. Decided to pick 8pm, just before they close. The lil' one often (alhamdulillah) sleeps at 7'ish every night (IF NO DISTRACTIONS).. So after a full day, we figured she'd stick to her routine. Which she did, yeay! Was initially worried that husband would have to call up the spa to stop my massage because baby woke up!

I chose the deep tissue massage. I was still very sore from the mini marathon in the morning, so I figured I needed a really goodddd one to ease my muscles.

Didn't work. Too sore.

But otherwise, I think the massage would have been a great one were it not for my superrrrr sore muscles. I think the girl climbed behind me, using her knees at one point. They served tea before my session and also provided a fresh cuppa immediately afterwards. The whole ambience of the place was also so serene, perfect for relaxation. They even had these funky looking chairs (sofa?) for me to hang around.

Worst part though....
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the lady asked how many months pregnant am I after the massage....I swear I'm not lying!

(-__-) I cried inside.

xx

Mid-week

How time flies. Is it Wednesday already?

The weekend could not come any sooner! We're planning on a full-blown relaxation time for this small family of four. Oh wow, that's a mouthful. 

FAMILY OF FOUR! Woot! And to think that yesterday my aunt advised me to add more 'minions' to the bunch at this so-called early age. Reason being so we would be 'tired' this one time managing all small lil' ones, and relax a little when they're older.

A valid point she made... but am not sure whether 'we're' ready yet. Still waiting to complete the house that we're moving into next... perhaps then we'd consider adding straight away?

If God wills it, of course. 

At times like this, you can't help but be humbled by all that's happening around us. Everything indeed comes from Him, and from time to time you just need to be reminded that everything belongs to Him. You are just here 'hitch-hiking' your way to the afterlife, hopefully to the better side insyaAllah.

On a much lighter note, I'm making orange and black buttoned beauties this week... A tad bit late for halloween themed goodies, but it's fun to try and experiment new deco adventures don't you think?

xx

Wherever convenient

Woww.... Talk about hiatus eh? Well, that's what happens when u're too caught up with work, toddler, infant and the love of baking.

Less time to sit down and type my thoughts. Instagram was my 'go-to' app for updates etc. Am now at a conference, using the surau to fulfil my 'mummy duties'. I did e-mail the organizers in advance to provide a place.. But i guess there was some miscommunication with the hotel staff so that request was overlooked. No worries, the surau is quite clean and definitely private at this time of the day.

Came prepared with 3 ice packs, knowing that I won't have easy access to a fridge for these three days. The cooler bag mom bought is also a good choice to lug around because it can fit 6 bottles (which i now bring to work everyday) and pump parts so that it stays cold during the day. 

Yeah.. My 20 mins is up! 

Till next time xx

Last night

I'm a nervous wreck.. Tonight is my last night of my ultra short maternity leave..

Tomorrow I'll return to become a FTWM. This will be the first time I'll be 'sending' our child away from home. Well, last time we were staying at my inlaws. So I only had to walk out the door to go to work. Now that we've moved to a different place, it'll be different.

Hence, my nervousness right now. Will she have everything she needs? Will I forget anything? You know, OCD stuff. Haha I've already placed everything on the dining table ready to be picked up tomorrow morning. 

Packed my pumping bag and handbag. Then it occured to me. Tomorrow I won't be gym'ing because it's my first day. But I plan on doing so the day after. So does that mean I'll be carrying a pumping bag, a handbag AND a gym bag to work now????? 

Might as well bring a wheely bag to work then eyh?

Haiya, how laaa to fall asleep like this. I'm worrying too much. Not to mention how tightly I'm holding on to baby elle right now. It'll be hard to leave her. Don't get me wrong. It's still really really hard having to leave Aaron too. But baby elle is just... a baby! After having been her 'world' 24/7 alll this while.. how can I?

Tomorrow will be a very very very hard day...

Xx

#workingsoon

There are just certain things in life that you can't really run away from..

Bills.. And tonnes of them.. 

So what do you do? You work. Not only that.. but as you look at your children's faces everyday don't you wonder, where they'll end up getting their education? Yes, when I look at my children (OMG! I can totally say 'children' instead of 'child' now!!), I wish to see them sent to the best schools. 

And they don't come cheap..

So what do you do? You work..

Yes, I'll be starting work SOON.. I know I've 'told' this story about a thousand times over, but let me tell you, it doesn't get easier.. So excuse me while I sulk in sadness that my maternity leave is just so short.. Too little time spent with this cheeky girl and yes, her cheeky brother too! 

Xx

Glued

Oh yeah, she's glued to me today. Her naps lasts at most 20 mins? And that happened only twice. Other than that, feed feed poo feed talk by herself feed look at the fan feed pee pee poo poo feed feed..

Am I making sense? 

Haha but I guess she can sense that mummy will be doing a 'practice run' of not being around her for a few short hours soon! I'll be starting work soon so gotta get her used to not seeing selekeh mummy around all the time (when you're glued to the bed nursing you expect perfectly curled hair??). It's exciting to see her face smiling when I come to pick her up.. She smiles a lot, alhamdulillah. 

Haaa baby fell asleep! Must.shower.now!

Xx

Handsfree review

For the past 2 nights I started dreaming again. It is hard to dream when you wake up every 2-3 hours to feed and... Pump! But since both nights were filled with scary and weird dreams, I shall leave it at that.

I find that I am only able to pump more efficiently at night. During the day, I noticed that when I do pump, the 'tank' takes some time to refill.. Causing the little one to nurse more and more each feed = less sleep = less time to do anything let alone pump! Unless of course, she decides to sleep a little longer, then i would get to pump more. For now, I'm ok with 3 bottles every night to keep in the freezer. But to pump whilst slightly sleeping in the wee hours of the morning can be challenging. Hence, I need it to be efficient.

With Aaron, I had the pumpin' pal throughout my bf journey and it helped me tremendously! Unfortunately, I lost it sometime ago (along with the demise of my last pump). Thankfully mother found it at a store one day and got it for me, yeay!

I think it is one good tool for handsfree pumping. Especially during the night when you're half asleep. Easy to set up, easy to remove (when lil' one suddenly wakes yet again). However, the only complain I have is that it does not actually allow you to move freely. Most of the time, I would have to sit still. Yes, I don't have to hold the flanges in place all the time, but it relies solely on the suction. The system just supports it there. Hence, don't attempt to lean forward or make sudden movements as the suction might not be as strong as you think and....... There might be accidental spill, fall and whatnot. I learned that the hard way (lost 8oz one time few years back... Cried).. But apart from that, I don't really mind using it again.. It is easy after all and holds the pump up most of the time. Well, it did help with my posture! It retails for RM79 and easily attainable from online stores.

This time, I wanted to try something else.. Searched online and found this.. Eve L0ve for RM69. Cheaper than the above and looks interesting. Even received rave reviews. Heck, why not! 

Ok, so that didn't turn out so well. Tried it and found that it doesn't actually fit me properly, size wise. Therefore, it doesn't allow me to position the flanges properly to obtain good 90 degrees suction. I end up having to hold the flanges in place most of the time. But plus points for allowing me to walk around and do some washing for a bit (before I sit down and having to hold the flanges in place again). Plus it's a bit tedious to put on (like a corset), therefore only adjustable up to 3 settings. I end up keeping it in the drawer as a back-up.

Then I wanted to see if there's a better alternative. I've seen S|mple wishes online but found it rather pricey more than RM100. Cousin bought this at a slightly cheaper price from a babyfair (still have not paid back, aiyo me!) before I got the new pumpin pal from mom.. 

First time I put this on... It felt a bit too restrictive perhaps from the thick material. But it's much easier to put on, using only a zipper. It's adjustable using velcro to give me a proper fit. The material is soft though, I'll give you that. Although pumpin pal is much faster to put on, this just takes getting used to. Best advantage? The only one out of the three that gives me proper support i.e am able to walk around, lean forward and move as normal! 

So overall, the last one wins my vote. I can close my eyes for a bit with this one, not having worry that I might lean sideways or forward. Just set the alarm with my phone, and it wakes me up after about 15 mins. But I do use pumpin pal during times when I really need to get a move on or when I power pump. Still, the faster bet. 

If you're thinking of getting one, and this would be your first time.. Get the S|mple wishes. Value for money and it does its job. 

Xx

Out and about

Haha.. Have been out and about for real since raya. Prior to that, ada la short outings here and there but never too long. Oh, and it feels GOOD to be in heels again after all these months ;) 

Somehow we find that so far, baby elle sleeps well when we're out. Well, as opposed to at home! Haha just today, it's 5.30pm and finally she's fast asleep, hopefully for more than 1/2 an hour! 

Tomorrow will be baby elle's 6 weeks checkup and jab. I guess I'll be driving again, weehoo! Haha yeah driving is only great when there's no traffic and you only have to travel a short distance. 

Ok, 1/2 an hour has passed and she's still sleeping! So better rush to get some snack and possibly squeeze in a 25 min t25... IF I'm for it that is :P

Xx

Spurttttt

Past 3 days baby Elle has been going through what I presume would be, a growth spurt i.e. Nursing approximately every hour. Constant diaper change and yes, lack of sleep for mummy. But I guess this time it's much more manageable since I kinda already know what to expect. I'm also excited for her to nurse more and get fatter, quick! 

I remember with Aaron, it was a HUGE adjustment, thinking whether or not I will ever get some sleep! For baby Elle, I knew what was coming. So definitely less stressful. Plus I guess each babies are different. Each would also have their moments, good and not-so-sweet i.e loud unconsolable cries. Having insomnia during the end of preggo months also helped me adjust to 'nightlife' .. Haha.. 

In line with constant nursing would be.. Constant hunger pangs! I've been munching on oat cookies, choc chip cookies, nestum, oats, bread, milo like nobody's business! What weight I've lost so far must've just piled back on. I don't even dare to weigh myself just yet after the last time, which was about 2 weeks ago. Back then, I've already lost about 10kgs. So.. Roughly about 6-7 more to go? 

I've cleared with my obgyn and got the green light to start exercising yeay! But, no cycling nor using the eliptical machine. So I'm taking it slow and just doing light exercises to kick-start my fitness regime. More on that later.

Xx

Number Two!! #part2

So, we were told to be at the labour room at 6.30am...

Obviously we only left the house at 6.30am. Dropped off Aaron at my inlaws, and off we went to the hospital. Obviously had my make-up on, the whole works. Hey, I even blow dry-ed my hair going into labour the first time, why should this be any different? Yeah, donned my favorite bokitta ;)

Upon checking-in (which was a simple process as showing up saying 'ok, where do we park?'), we were led into one of the labour rooms. The pre-admission process and the booking done by my doc made everything easier, Alhamdulillah. Got changed into my glamorous gown and plonked myself on the bed, waiting for the doc to arrive. Oh, and I LOVEEEEE the labour room here! So different from the previous one, with couches and all. Seems like they accept more than one person in the labour room with you!

Apparently, I would have to go through a two-stage process i.e placing a pill sorta into my you-know-what... and upon great progress, I'd be attached to a drip which supposedly would intensify my contractions (as if it wasn't intense already!). The T3NS machine borrowed from dearest Shasa helped me through the initial stages of labour (Doc thought it was a good idea and might stock it up for future patients, yeay!). Well, didn't really go into active labour upon insertion of the pill, but after the doc broke my water (a few hours later), the party started

Literally..

Yeah, see the spikes? No time to breathe y'all! Being the one to laugh when in pain, ahah! Having my water manually 'broken?' was no walk in the park. No laughter there. Yes, some tears were shed. The doc was even sweet enough to wipe away my tears but only to laugh at the fact that.... I was wearing eyeliner! Duhh! Haha, but that did make me forget the pain for a bit. Going in, I was adamant that I would not be taking any epidural. Yeah, survived the last time o.k'ish so I figured maybe it wouldn't be as bad this time.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

Whatever. I don't remember the last time being THIS painful! Ok, still holding on. The doc then talked me into taking epi, saying that most her patients do. So..... I said yes. Regret? YES. Didn't work at all! Yeah, I know it didn't work, trust me. Soon after they hooked me up, it was 'go' straight into active labour. So back to 'gas' it is then! Oh, inhaling that sweet sweet gas was....

Sweeeeeettttttt!! And this time, I can tell that I was talking v.e.r.y s.l.o.w.l.y as if high like that. So high. When it came time to push, the doc wasn't there yet! She went back to the clinic thinking that it may take some time. Hello, they haven't even put in the drip yet to intensify the contractions! It was au naturale, so to speak. I told the nurses to call my doc, the midwife there told me I could safely push if I wanted, and she'd deliver my baby.

I closed my legs. 'Call my doctor NOWWWW!'

HAHA.. did not even let them do a VE during the last stages. I know I'm ready. But ONLY if my doc was there. Demanding tak? So demanding that my poor doc had to race to the delivery room, and boom!!

Out came baby Elle, Alhamdulillah..

Oh yeah, this time... I definitely felt E.V.E.R.Y  S.I.N.G.L.E  T.H.I.N.G

xx

Number Two!! #part1

Now, where do I start?

Alhamdulillah, we have been blessed to welcome our latest addition to this small family. A baby girl! We are more than ecstatic to be blessed with a pair now! Would we stop the factory? Maybe not just yet, insyaAllah. I for one am o.k if we were to add on more in the future. 

For now, we're taking it one day at a time. 

For starters, having baby Elle (lovely nickname given by one of ze bestfriends) is an entirely different experience from her brother. Yes, from the birth experience to the day-to-day caring for her experience, so far at least. 

The birth experience? Haha.... well, let's just say this time around it wasn't as 'pain-less' as her brother's. Admittedly, the first time seemed relatively easier. I did not even feel the sensation to push. This time however, every single sensation was felt. Every pain, every feeling.. I could even tell the nurse that I wanted to push (DID NOT happen during the first time, the nurse had to wake me up!). Considering the fact that I attempted to try taking epidural this time (went without epi the first time), it didn't work! 

Source: Google Images

Who said I'd be giving birth smiling, LIED!

O.k, maybe it wasn't entirely the anaesthesiologist's fault. When they did the VE to determine whether or not I am eligible to be given an epi, I was 3-4cm dilated. Although, it did take some time for the fella to come in and actually perform the procedure. Lots to prepare. Needles la blabla. My gut tells me (actually, the increasing intensity of the pain!!) I am more dilated than the last time they checked, but the thought of wanting to give epi a try had me suppress that feeling. I should have said something. Well, having intense pain every 2 minutes didn't actually give me much room to sit and think innit??!! 

Ahhh.. I've jumped straight into the middle of the story. Oh well, there's a slight preview of what happened during labor. 

More to come! 

xx

Detailed

When you're really into it, you get into it. I kinda feel guilty towards my first born for a bit here. Why? My 'nesting' or preparation works weren't as detailed then than it is now...

Heck, check out my cupboard organising layout!! 

Of course the handwriting isn't that great. But whatever, even the husband would laugh at the site of this. 

Well, at least this time around I'll have an extra set of little hands to help me out with all this prep work. At least this will make the idea of welcoming a sister in his life more real (he was a tad bit too excited trying out different strollers over the weekend)

Yeah, insyaAllah we're expecting a girl :) 

Xx