Tree

Yesterday, I posted this..

"For most of my life, I have been able to ignore (shut-off) that void. Reminding myself to be thankful for what I have, kept me strong..

But sometimes that sense of longing manages to creep through that wall..

And I will shut it down again..

But it still hurts nonetheless"


.........................................................

I have a feeling my emotional state is spiraling out of control. I am known (to most if not some) to be cheerful. A rock, some may add. Not many people know about what I've been through, what I'm going through etc. I choose to block out some information for I believe there are other more important sufferings in the world that we should think about..

or at least I should think about..

but being humans, I guess it is normal to sometimes falter behind the strong 'brick wall' that you've built around you. And yes, I may smile, I may seem normal. But I do feel THAT void. Most of the time I could ignore it. Lately? it hits me.. reminder of what I will never have..

ALTHOUGH, thoughts of what I DO have is important too! Alhamdulillah for everything.. I seek to be given the strength from Him to see what's in front of me, and I have faith in all the tests that he puts me through, insyaAllah there is a blessing in everything.......

xx